Many people experience sexual dysfunction (that is, an interruption to the normal stages of sexual activity) in the course of their lives. The dysfunction can be short term or can continue over longer periods of time. Sexual dysfunction can be very distressing for both individuals and couples and their causes can be many and varied. Rather than suffering in silence or allowing distress or discord to increase, seeking help from a qualified sex therapist can help the situation.
I have treated many people in the Yorkshire area, including Leeds, Harrogate and York, for sexual dysfunction. Therapeutic treatment is tailored to the individual or couple and depending on the severity of the problem and the commitment of the individuals to the treatment, it can take from a few weeks to many months.
Premature Ejaculation
This is a condition where climax is reached sooner than hoped for, and is distressing for both men and women; men often fear that their partner will leave them if they are not able to ‘satisfy’ them.
The therapist first helps the individual to learn relaxation techniques, as frequently this kind of dysfunction is accompanied by a certain level of anxiety which makes matters much worse. This is followed by techniques to practice at home that help to achieve control over one’s body.
Treatment involves a series of exercises for the man to do at home either alone or with his partner. It is a matter of practice in order to learn when the point of no return actually is. With practice the man learns how to control his levels of excitement and to arrive at the point where he wishes to achieve climax.
Erectile Dysfunction
When a man’s penis does not achieve full erection or loses erection during foreplay or intercourse this can often cause a great deal of distress for a man as well as his partner, who can also feel that s/he is insufficiently desirable or attractive.
Erectile dysfunction can have physiological and psychological origins and at times both need to be treated simultaneously. One simple technique involves restricting the base of the penis so that once erect the blood is kept in the penis to maintain the erection. Drugs are of course also available, although these do not cure the problem, they simply make the symptom go away temporarily.
Painful Intercourse
Dyspareunia
This is when a woman experiences pain in the vagina during penetration: the first aspect of treatment is to ensure that there are no physical causes for this condition and to that end the therapist will usually advise that the client has a gynaecological examination to confirm or otherwise the physical wellbeing of the genitals. Once any physical issues are dealt with or good health is established then the work of understanding what is happing in the mind, emotions or relationship of the woman begins. This happens through discussing with the therapist. Where appropriate, home exercises might be recommended.
No Penetration
Vaginismus
This is where no form of penetration is possible. This condition is almost always psychologically driven. A woman can experience a great deal of fear at the thought of her body being penetrated and treatment requires patience and understanding by the woman herself. The standard treatment for this condition involves the woman practicing at home to learn that penetration can be painless and even pleasurable.
Lack Of Sex
Lack of sex in a marriage is much more common than people realise, and can be a very real problem in any relationship. A commitment to changing the dynamics of both the relationship and the sexual behaviour is needed to really cure the problem. This can be achieved through working with a specialised therapist. One of the most frequently used treatment programmes is Sensate Focus, a flexible course of home exercises that gradually changes the way in which a couple relates sexually and makes love. Together with in depth psychodynamic counselling many couples find themselves once more enjoying a much more fulfilling relationship.
